Glaetzer Bishop 2004: 'big, rich and glossy'

A man walks into a wine shop in Notting Hill on a shivery grey afternoon in January in time to see a burly Australian ask for help. "Give me something expensive," says the Australian. "I want something vulgarly over the top."  With some delicacy, the shop assistant wonders if a Château Langoa Barton (classified as a third growth) might please sir. Or a Château Talbot (also from St Julien, a fourth growth this time) might do the trick?

My friend, supposing the Australian is looking for something altogether less refined, watches with amusement and initially his suspicions seem to be confirmed.  "No, no,"says the wine lover. "It's all about the label. I want to slob out and sit there drinking it and think to myself, 'I am repulsed by the price of that wine. I am disgusted by the extravagance of drinking this.'"

Says my friend, "I was rather hoping he'd feel so sorry for me that he might also throw in a 50-quid bottle of something for the pauper standing next to him."  He didn't, of course, although he did, apparently, spend upwards of £300 on a bottle of Pétrus and left the shop happy, presumably intending to sit in front of the TV with it…

..I have some sympathy for the TV watcher. "After all," I said, "isn't it better not to save a special wine for a fancy occasion when you will be distracted by so many other things, such as food, guests and the draining sense that you have to enjoy yourself. When you open a good bottle of wine, that is the special occasion."

I was rewarded with a bored sigh. "That's a line from Sideways."

Oh, all right, it is - but it's what I used to say before the film as well, although I've never spent £300 on a bottle of wine - and never intend to, either.

With this in mind, fans of Australian wine might like to spend a Saturday afternoon in the company of Glaetzer Barossa Valley Bishop Shiraz 2004, from one of Australia's brightest young wine-makers, Ben Glaetzer. It's thick and liquoricey, with a vestigial hint of walnuts, big, rich and glossy. And do you know, it goes frighteningly well with best vanilla ice cream. Eaten straight from the tub, sitting on the sofa, wine glass in hand and, of course, in front of the telly.